Not Your Wing Man
by DocReggie
Summary: Based on The Wind Waker's minor characters. Ilari, the Rito postman responsible for Windfall's mail, has found himself trapped between a girl's misguided love and a monster's appetite. Committed to his work, he has no other choice but to deliver their letters despite his opposition. Is there any way he can get out of this sticky situation?


Author's note: This story was originally posted on the Zelda Universe forums under my alias Midoro. This is a slightly revised version from the original.

* * *

 **Not Your Wing Man**

Ilari knew that something was up. He did not know what it was exactly, but he was suspicious. It was the way that the girl, Maggie, always behaved whenever he showed up to deliver and pick up Windfall's letters. Whenever he came first thing in the morning, he would always find her there, dutifully waiting in front of the old red post box. Of course, this in itself was not unordinary, for many of Windfall's residents would eagerly stand there and wait for their mail to arrive too. When nearly all the world was covered in endless water, pen and paper was the only reliable way to communicate afar. It was especially not unusual considering how her foolish father had personally went out of his way to keep all postmen off the premises, forcing poor little Maggie no other choice but to sneak out and stand there in front of the post box.

No, rather it was the way that the young woman always consistently stood there every other day, with keen eyes peeled for the postman's flying silhouette. It was the way she bounced on the balls of her feet like a bunny rabbit, as though pretending to be the one she characteristically dressed up as. It was the way that her head would fall in disappointment whenever Ilari had nothing for her. And it was the way she always insisted on personally giving him her written responses. She never put them in the post box; no, she had to see it with her own two eyes that he got the letter and would safely deliver it.

But most telling of all, was the way she radiated and sang aloud whenever she received a very particular letter addressed to her from the Forsaken Fortress…

From a being named Moe… the Moblin.

At first Ilari did not suspect a thing. Of course he found it very peculiar the first time when he had to deliver a letter from the fortress to her residence. But at the time he was far more preoccupied and concerned by how her father went to extreme lengths to keep him off their property. It was an embarrassing ordeal for him—he had to get a little boy in green to deliver it in his stead. But since then, there had simply been no end to these written exchanges between the pair, and Ilari could not help but turn suspicious.

He had been delivering their mail for at least a month now. The letters she received were quite unlike her own; they were messy, with paper hastily stuffed inside the envelope and sloppily addressed with thick ink. Ilari could barely read the handwriting. It was the exact opposite of Maggie's dainty, carefully signed envelopes. The girl, once poor and now brought into a rich lifestyle seemingly by pure dumb luck, had spent the greatest care and time in presenting herself with the highest dignity, which included taking calligraphy lessons. Her envelopes were always signed with the most delicate handwriting that Ilari had ever seen from Windfall. But addressed to this one particular individual, her signature was the most careful and precise of all. Occasionally he would even find the envelope decorated in tiny, exquisite hearts, closest to Moe's name…

He was slow to catch on, but Ilari was not stupid. He had seen more than enough signs. It was the way Maggie hugged the letters she received and, on one occasion, kissed the back of her envelope before handing it over to be delivered. Every day it was becoming clearer to him. It would not have mattered to him at all… if this Moe was not a Moblin!

What was that foolish girl even thinking?! For the past month, Ilari had flown to and back from the dreaded Forsaken Fortress, enduring hardships and many close calls each time he went. It was a dark place crawling with barbaric beasts. For goodness sake! It was the very same place where Maggie was held prisoner, after she was kidnapped by a giant bird allegedly hunting young women with pointed ears! How could she possibly want anything more to do with that place after that horrible ordeal? More importantly than that, why a Moblin of all things?! It absolutely bewildered Ilari. He had more than enough close encounters with Moblin folk to know that they are brutish, carnivorous monsters! The very thought sickened him to his core.

Ilari honestly pitied her. Maggie was a precious yet delusional girl. It filled him with a lot of guilt delivering those letters. He knew not what their contents are, but it was a worrying feeling each time he placed them into his pouch. They felt as heavy as a ton of bricks. But every time he was handed one, he had to keep mentally reminding himself: he is the postman. This is his job.

When Ilari was promoted to postman, he made an oath to swear by the "Postman's Code." It was a code of honor that every Rito postman took, vowing to never break the rules and to always deliver on time. The islands of the Great Sea depended on them; without them communication would be at a total standstill. Every Rito postman took their job seriously, and Ilari was no exception. Come rain or shine, or whatever may, all deliveries had to be made.

And it was exactly that why Ilari was not looking forward to that morning's delivery. As he swooped in toward Windfall territory, he could see her there, waiting in front of the post box. Already he could feel her steely gaze piercing him from below. That was one face he could never forget.

'Ilariii~!' Sang Maggie as he landed nearby. Ilari frowned at the familiar greeting. But Maggie, on the other hand, had the sweetest and most innocent smile on her face. 'Oh! How long I have waited for your arrival! Pray tell, please tell me you have a letter for me?'

When Ilari had packed his deliveries early that morning, his pouch had already felt heavy with concern. He struggled with his hesitance to even make the trip to Windfall. Now it felt as though an even heavier weight had slammed onto his shoulders. He knew full well what kind of letter she was expecting, and he just so happened to be carrying the very same.

The girl had swayed her head side to side as she watched him, as she often did when "patiently" waiting for his response—and by patient, he meant that only lightly. It was clear from the uncontained excitement in her dark pupils that she was anything but. In reality, it had been a full week since she last received a letter. In that short amount of time, she had already gave Ilari two more letters! Two more to take to that hideous monster, the Moblin… He had practically gone through hell and back just to deliver all those! The mere thought would have been enough to send him into a frenzy. How he hated going there! But he stopped short when he caught a glimpse of her eagerness fade away. Her gentle brow furrowed with worry as her tiny smile turned into a pout. At once the guilt settled inside him.

Ilari regretted showing up. As much as he begged otherwise, he had to give her the letter. With reluctance he reached into his pouch and slowly pulled out the envelope…

'OH! Moe's letter!' He did not even have a chance to present it; it was snatched right out of his fingers the moment she spotted that familiar, ink-stained envelope. She did not even walk back home either. Already the impatient girl had torn the envelope open and read its contents with furious energy. Ilari nearly choked on his breath as he watched her.

'Oh, my dearest Moe!' Maggie cheered, squeezing the inky paper between her arms. 'How relieved I am to hear you are safe and still thinking of me! Oh thank you, Ilari! You are truly the most dedicated postman I know! Every day of the week I wait, hoping that you will arrive with yet another letter for me! You almost never disappoint me! Thanks to you, my true love can be realized! Troo di loo la la!'

Ilari felt sick by those words. He could not tell for certain, but his face felt like it was growing pale. How could Maggie say such a thing?! This was a Moblin she was talking about! A blood-thirsty creature! Ilari desperately wanted to say something. He objected to it, he loathed it. Every part of this role he was forced to play between them he was opposed to. The postman opened his mouth to speak—but was suddenly cut off when in the corner of his eye, he spotted the girl's father starring at him disapprovingly from their balcony above. Ilari could not take much more of this.

'O-Okay, you're welcome! I must be off now!' He quickly spoke, a little more forced than he meant to. It hardly mattered to him, he was done here and turned on his talons to leave.

He did not even get a foot away when he heard her speak again. 'Oh, one moment please, Ilari!' The postman uneasily turned his head.

She held up a pink envelope, secured by a rabbit-shaped wax seal. 'Won't you pleeeease deliver this letter to Moe, for me?'

How his stomach twisted and turned. No longer did Ilari's face feel pale and thin, but boiled as his frustration grew! Not even a week and already she had a third letter for him! No! He refused to follow through with this! He faced her and rose a finger to make his argument, but ultimately fell silent when he felt the cold, hard glare from above. Her old man clearly had something against postmen, and upsetting his only daughter would not do. But there was more to it than just the man's gaze that quieted Ilari. The gentle smile on her face had done it too. Her smiles were the sweetest on all of Windfall, and the hardest to say no to. They never failed to sway him. Ilari clenched his teeth together.

'RAAAAWRK! Okay! I'll deliver it! As soon as I can!' Shrieked Ilari.

The girl cheered in gratitude. 'Oh, thank you Ilari! My letters are safest with you!'

But as he was handed the letter, all he could think about was how he had gotten himself in this again. The guilt pained him worse than before.

* * *

Ilari dreaded heading out later that afternoon. After finishing all of his other deliveries, it was still light out when he began flying to the far northwest. But it was as he neared the isolated fortress that a thick cloud of darkness settled in seemingly out of nowhere, blackening the sky as though it were already nightfall. Ilari detested coming here. There was always a constant shadow covering the area, even when he knew that the place was already long since abandoned by its former master.

Forsaken Fortress was well known among the Rito. This was the place that their great guardian, Valoo, flew in to put a fiery end to the stronghold's master, while a young boy and a band of pirates worked to free and safely escort the young women imprisoned inside. The giant bird was even slain, ending its terror across the seas. As Ilari flew over the darkening ocean, he could still see it there—the charred remains of a wooden ship atop the lookout post, where the master once dwelled. But Ilari knew, just as every other Rito knew, that the master had escaped unharmed. Where he is hiding now was anyone's guess. All Ilari knew was that he was a very evil man. He was planning some kind of dark scheme, and had furthered it by kidnapping young maidens. The mere thought troubled Ilari deeply. But what bothered him more was how even without a master, it was still populated by fiendish minions. The fortress was now theirs. Even now, in the consistent shadows, he could see a couple spotlights surveying the area for no exact purpose. Ilari clenched his teeth as he neared the beams of light; not even a dozen visits could prepare him for what he was about to face.

The very second his silhouette flew past the first light, a horrible screech had filled the air. Immediately afterwards Ilari heard the alarm of a horn echoing off the walls. He swooped down beneath an overpass just as dozens of tiny cries followed. What happened next was not something Ilari could adequately prepare himself for even with repeated practice. Seeing the countless glowing eyes emerge from the shadows, Ilari could only attempt to dodge the shower of falling pitchforks he had come to expect. The weapons whizzed past, drowning the shrieks of the Miniblins that threw them. Ilari shifted his weight to the right to make a pass for the nearest opening, but he was too slow. The last thing he knew a sharp stab had struck him on the side.

A screech of anguish escaped him as the Rito fell, miraculously diving into one of the fortress's open windows. He slammed in with such force that the floorboards growled and violently shuddered beneath him. His body rolled halfway across the room. When all became still and quiet again, he opened his eyes and uttered a painful groan.

It took some time for his strained eyes to readjust. Looking around, the interior was almost a stark difference compared to outside. It was nearly empty in every way, save for a few lanterns swinging idly from the ceiling and a couple barrels stacked against the wall. It was eerily quiet too, with the only distinct noise coming from the floorboards' squeaks and the dimming cries of the Miniblins outside. A chilled breeze blew in through the window; its sharp caress was enough to painfully rouse Ilari off the floor. He sat up and turned to his wounded side with disgust. Although not too badly injured, he would be limping for a little while. Wincing as he stood, he paused to get his bearings.

Ilari knew that the Miniblins were far too simple to continue searching for him. In his many visits, he had grown wise to the fortress's consistent patrols. The Bokoblins and Miniblins only ever seemed to keep watch outside. Although certainly threatening in their own right, they were hardly anything compared to what lurked insided these walls... Ilari could hear their unmistakable grunts and snuffles beneath the floorboards, no doubt investigating his commotion. He knew exactly where their patrol route lies. He is in far worse territory now.

The postman sighed as he opened his pouch's clasp and pulled out the pretty pink envelope. He glared at its calligraphy and seal, finding their adorable shape vexing. Every ounce of him wished he could just leave this place. He objected to every bit of it. It sickened him to think that the poor youth could be writing affections to such a disgusting beast. This exchange should not, must not, happen at all! But alas… He was no more than just a postman stuck doing his job. Ilari shook his head. He had to find the Moblin named Moe.

Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it did not take him very long to find him. As the Rito man eyed the letter one last time, a thud was heard behind him and the room grew dim. He froze suddenly, feeling an unsettling damp warmth upon his shoulders. Turning around warily, he gasped at the towering sight above him—a Moblin breathing down his face.

Ilari slowly backed away, but the hog-shaped creature stepped towards him. He shuddered as he looked up and observed the Moblin's grotesque features. The monster had carried an enormous smile, rowed with hundreds of teeth from top to bottom. Many of them were rotten and discolored, and Ilari felt nauseous to the Moblin's hot breath. With every pant came a drip of thick drool from the beast's sagging lips. Its snout grunted aggressively with interest. He could see its nostrils expand and contract as they sucked the air about him. And those eyes! A flash of intense excitement could be seen in the green, growing brighter the closer the beast inched towards him. It was all enough to make Ilari's legs feel weak.

Ilari kept backing away. He desperately wanted to flee the vicinity. And he may have done just that, had he not caught the glimpse of a black puddle beneath the monster's hooves. Cautiously lowering his gaze, it then occurred to him that the Moblin was holding a giant feather that was dripping black ooze from its tip.

Ilari then realized that he had found Moe—or rather, Moe had found him.

Taking another step back to maintain their distance, Ilari tensely showed him the pink envelope. 'T-This is Moe? Yes…?' He prayed that he was.

Of all the fortress's inhabitants, Moe was the only one who wrote letters of any kind. For that reason, it was somewhat easy for Ilari to find Moe if he knew where to look. It was a twisted blessing in itself perhaps, considering that Moblins all looked the same to him. Moe would be found waiting in various places around the hold, usually near one of the windows where Ilari would fly in from. The first time Ilari came to deliver Maggie's letter was an absolute nightmare, one filled with many trials and tribulations, and one he hoped to never recount. Worse than Maggie however, the monster was even less patient than her. Every time he would find him glaring back with a keen, unsightly eagerness. It bothered Ilari greatly.

'Bird maaan… Haaave letter from… MAAAGGIE?!'

The room quaked to the roar. The Moblin had seized the letter the moment it was presented—Ilari was shoved aside as it was viciously grabbed out of his hands. With Ilari's beak-shaped nose to the floor, he could only hear the sounds of the delicate envelope being savagely ripped to shreds as the Moblin opened his letter. The sound was so violent, one would think that Moe also managed to destroy the note itself. Poor Maggie's efforts in precise calligraphy and expensive choice in stationery should not be wasted on such a creature…

Ilari scrambled back onto his talons in pain, only to pause again as he found the tiny letter barely obscuring the monster's face. It was read far too quickly and effortlessly, barely any thought given to the words the woman had wrote. Then without a single care, it was thrown away like nothing. But Ilari's eyes were not even on the note, but on the Moblin's growing smile…

Menacing eyes burned into Ilari with rising interest. The Rito gulped nervously. But before he could make a run, the Moblin suddenly pounced and grabbed him by the collar, hoisting him up into the air! Ilari shrieked, but Moe laughed at him with a bellowing roar. From where the Moblin held him, Ilari could feel his hot breaths panting against his kicking talons. When he looked down, the Rito felt his heart skip a beat as he saw the ferocious glare. He tried to break free with every ounce of his strength, but the Moblin's grip had only painfully tightened. Ilari winced between his clamped teeth. His discomfort and fear only made Moe's grin wider.

Ilari's whining was quickly silenced as Moe pulled him in close. His red eyes widened fearfully as he was forced to stare eye-to-eye. He was now dangerously close to the beast's maw! The Rito writhed and struggled desperately. No! This cannot be happening! It cannot end like this!

But then unexpectedly, an envelope was held up.

'Bird maaan… Taaake letter… to Maaaggie!'

Ilari froze. He stared blankly at the revealed envelope. It was folded of ripped parchment, with its contents forcefully stuffed inside. It was even dripping fresh ink from one of the corners where a dark stain was. There was nothing out of the ordinary about it; he had seen this sort of letter before. Even still, Ilari could only stare back at it in dumbfounded silence. The Moblin grinned to himself with immense satisfaction, then slammed the poor postman down and shoved the letter into his hands. Ilari painfully cawed—only then did he snap out of his petrified stance. Then it finally came to him.

Another letter. To Maggie.

Ilari did not even have time to read the full address on the front. An alarming growl ripped his attention away and he found Moe leering over him. Ilari's mouth dropped as he trembled. At that instant, Moe's features seem to turn even more twisted than before. His smile stretched to the very corners of his cheeks, in such a way that Ilari had not thought possible. Every last tooth could be counted individually, from the rotten to the still intact; each one glistening in globs of drool. But what truly gripped Ilari were those eyes, and how they glared at him. They looked starved. They were ravenous. They were destructive eyes with a horrible hunger. Ilari felt his gut lurch. What he saw in the monster's grinning face was the icon of an insatiable appetite. The way he looked down at him was demanding, voracious, frenzied. Ilari never felt more terrified than ever before. This face was purely animalistic! At Windfall, Maggie could never see such horrid features. Instead it was Ilari who had to witness them in her place. These were no eyes that Maggie loved. This was no face of a man, but an animal!

'Giiive… letter… to… Maaaaggiiiieeeeee…!'

Ilari screamed. 'RAAAAAAAAAWRK! No! I can't do this anymore!'

With the new letter still held between his fingers, the Rito immediately dashed out of the room and out the nearest window as his arms transformed and took flight. The last thing he heard as he fled the fortress were the faint sounds of the Bokoblin's horn and the Miniblins' chatter behind him, but he was now already long gone. The demons there would never see him again.

* * *

Ilari limped back and forth inside his chamber, ignoring the pains he felt with every step. It was now since dusk, with the sun hazily setting in the horizon. His work hours were now long over that day. However even with the day now coming to a close, Ilari was in a state of unrest. As he paced about, he stopped periodically to glance over to his desk. On its surface was the letter that Moe gave him, sitting idly and alone.

Even when Ilari had fled the fortress in turbulent speed, he had still somehow managed to keep a tight hold on the very letter he despised. It was pure fear and terror gripping onto him that had made his grasp so tense. But even now far away from the fortress and in the safety of home, he still kept it. Even when Ilari had returned to the mail center shortly after, his pouch full of letters to be unloaded, he refused to surrender the ink-stained letter to Koboli, the roost's mail sorter. In fact, he had kept it to himself and well hidden, making certain that no other postman knew of its existence. And certainly, no one but him knew of the letter. He just could not hand it over to anyone else, not after what he just experienced back there. The Moblin's face in those last few seconds was scarred into his mind. He could not let go of the image.

After what felt like an hour or two of pacing in his room, Ilari stopped and turned to face the letter, scowling at the handwriting that messily spelled "To Maggie." The Rito grimaced as he continued observing its poor appearance. With its crinkled folds, blots of ink stains and crooked stamp, it was a disgrace to the very art of writing. It was pure ugly; as ugly as the beast who wrote it. The snout-shaped wax seal only served as an additional reminder. But there was more than just its outside appearance that infuriated him, but rather the very contents that he could only dare imagine. Just what exactly have Maggie and the monster been writing to each other?

It was a gross feeling, a feeling that sickened him with grief and worry. Ilari just could not understand: why in Valoo's name would Maggie fall for such a despicable demon of all things? Moe was a monster, and a soldier to the evil man who once ruled the fortress—the very same man who controlled the bird that kidnapped her to begin with! Moe was not to be trusted whatsoever. That Moblin is a horrible, hungry animal—barely human at all! It filled Ilari with rage and confusion. What could possibly drive her into thinking this? She was only putting herself in harm's way. Surely!

Yet Ilari found himself torn. In so many ways he wished that he had dropped the letter into the sea as he was fleeing the fortress. He wished he could just destroy it and its contents right then and there. Maggie did not need to receive it. Yet it was Ilari's own dedication that was proving to be his undoing. He would not have gone through hell and back again repeatedly if he was not so committed to his work. He is a postman, this is his job! He could not do anything about the letter unless Moe was sending her dangerous items. As much as he thought otherwise, mere words would not physically hurt her. If anything, the words Moe wrote delighted her! It was because of his own dedication that he somehow found himself stuck in this role as a delivery boy between one woman's misguided love, and one monster's voracious appetite. He did not want any more to do with this!

Ilari fumed with anger. His head began to pound in frustration. He glared back at the letter with piercing eyes. A strong feeling compelled him, but his brain kept telling him no. A million voices were arguing with each other, all trying to silence the other. He just could not take much more of this!

'Oh, Postman's Code, please forgive me! But my good will just cannot allow this!'

He dove at the letter and ripped its envelope open. In that very instance, he had just broken the Postman's Code sacred to him. He knew that he should not be doing this. What if the others were to find out? He could very well lose his job over this, his very livelihood that took him years to achieve. He could become a shame to the other Rito postmen. He could lose everything. But he also knew that he just could not stand by and let this continue as normal. He needed to see just what exactly Moe has been writing to Maggie. Her safety was far more important to him at this point.

When he saw the opened letter, made of torn parchment, all he could see at first were the blots of thick black ink. It covered at least half of the page. It took him a moment to realize that this was the Moblin's own handwriting. It was a wonder how the girl even managed to read it at all, for it had taken Ilari a good solid moment to even get a vague sense of it. But after repeated attempts at reading it, he had finally managed to decipher it.

It read,  
" _This is Moe. Maggie, I like you really, really, really a lot! I miss seeing you and your little, delicious face. It is lonely here without master. You must come see me! I cannot wait anymore! There is no big bird here anymore. Come to fortress again! I like to have you for dinner! -Moe."_

When Ilari had finished reading, an aching feeling came over him. It was just as he feared! Ilari knew that Maggie sometimes talked about wanting to visit "a friend far away." She expressed greatly missing this so-called friend and feeling so incredibly lonely at home, but had always remained at Windfall so as not to worry her father. But that girl was daft enough to believe every word that was written on this page. She would go visit Moe in a heartbeat the moment she heard that he was also "lonely." With her father's miraculous inheritance, she had more than enough Rupees to pay off one of the sailors to take her there. All she would have to do is lie that she had mistakenly left something of importance there when she was held captive. And her father, who obviously cares more about his wealth than his own daughter's safety, even before he became rich, would not bat an eye whatsoever at her disappearance. The old fool had begged for Rupees when she was kidnapped, and did nothing with the earnings to help her. Ilari believed all this would happen if he delivered the letter. Now that he read it for himself, he could not possibly hand it over to her now. He would not be responsible for sending a poor, delusional girl to be devoured by a Moblin!

Anger filled him to the core. He glared at the page and without hesitance crumpled it into a ball. He slammed it at the floor and marched away, groaning audibly as he felt the sides of his temple. But a moment later, he peered back at the ruined note, contemplating it.

Destroying it would not be enough, he soon realized. Maggie would still demand if he had any more letters from Moe, and would insist on writing him many more. Even if Ilari were to tell her that Moe was a dangerous monster that meant her only harm, that would only upset her and compel her even more to see and write back to him. It was a terrible situation to be caught in. Young, misled love was such a tricky thing… The only way he could possibly get her back to her senses was if something were to tarnish that feeling. She would have to somehow lose all interest in Moe to end this disturbing folly.

That was when, as he eyed the ball, that an idea came to him. His brain of course begged him not to do it, for he was potentially already in enough trouble. But his heart told him otherwise. Approaching the crumpled letter, he picked it up and carefully unfolded it. Then, after inspecting its words once more, he turned to his desk and laid it out flat. He sat down on his stool. With sheets of paper at his side, he took one and tore it in resemblance of the tattered parchment.

But Ilari knew that Maggie was not stupid. She might be a complete airhead, but she was not easily fooled when it came to her "dearest" Moe. If Ilari was going to fool her with a fake letter, then he would have to make it as convincing as humanly possible. As he reached for his feather quill pen, he came to an abrupt pause. But refusing to give in to hesitance, he shook away all doubt and took the pen out of its container. However as he turned back to the original letter, he began to realize two things:

One was the ink. As Ilari inspected the mess of a letter, he noticed how thick and even clumpy the ink looked. It was gooey and had covered most of the page. There was even a sticky residue left over. It did not seem like any of the usual inks used in letter writing. As he inspected it further, it soon dawned onto him: this is Octorok ink.

Ilari's stomach turned at the thought of Moe fishing up an Octorok and forcefully squeezing and pulling the ink right out of its mantle. It was not like the monsters at Forsaken Fortress had access to any other ink. What else could they possibly use?

The second thing though was how unusually thick the writing appeared to be. They were not fine strokes, but wide, flat and obtuse. At first Ilari thought it was an issue with the ink itself, but upon closer inspection, it definitely appeared that each written stroke was bigger than normal. They were a lot bigger than what a typical quill pen could write, at least. As Ilari stared at his own pen, he then remembered. Moe had been carrying that large feather that was dripping in ink. It was purple, white and red, no doubt belonging to the giant bird when it still thrived there. In comparison to normal birds, its quills were enormous and legendary. The quill stem was by far thicker than ordinary feathers. This was how Moe managed to write so thickly—by using a large pen that he channelled force into.

There were issues in imitating all of this. Octorok ink was not a type commonly available. Its consistency as a gooey, clumpy fluid made it largely undesirable as writing ink. Ilari also did not have huge feathers on hand, nor did he ever want to go back to the fortress to fetch one. There were only two solutions to this: the ink he would have to buy from somewhere, and the quill… Well, he would just have to write with his finger nail. It grossed him to think that he would have to dip his finger into Octorok ink just to write this letter, a letter that he did not even want to write. But he had to! He had to end Maggie's feelings for Moe for her own safety, and it had to come from Moe himself, figuratively speaking. He left to find some Octorok ink…

It was nearly midnight when Ilari returned with a small vase. He had managed to, by pure luck, find a seller who happened to offer the ink. It had came from that strange man who sold an assortment of oddities and trinkets in his boat shop. Ilari never cared much for him before. But now, exhausted, in pain and frustrated, he was just grateful to find his boat still open for business in the middle of the sea. He could hardly believe the lengths he was taking just to do a despicable act as falsifying a letter. But when he returned to his room, he immediately set out to work.

With careful study of the original letter, and numerous practice attempts on a spare piece of paper (which he immediately disposed of), he eventually found himself confident enough to write the following:

" _This is Moe. I do not like you anymore, Maggie. You are small and boring! I met a—_ …uh… — _great Moblin here. I really like her a lot! She is bigger and stronger. Her name is—_ …uh, what to call her… — _Mortica_ …yes, that'll work… _I like her a lot more than you. I don't want to see you anymore. Stop sending me letters! - Moe._ "

Ilari quietly read over the words he just wrote. Against all his dignity, he had written the letter as messily as he could with only his finger nail as a pen. It certainly _looked_ similar to Moe's letter. It was a lot more difficult to do than he thought, exasperated by his growing exhaustion. Even with the fairly satisfactory result before him, he wondered if it would be enough to fool Maggie into thinking that Moe had left her. There was ink everywhere, the letters were huge and bold, and the paper was tattered and torn. It had to be enough, right? Too tired to care anymore, it would have to do for the next day when he would deliver it.

Breathing a tired sigh, he wiped his hand clean and ripped another piece of paper to fold as the envelope.

* * *

Ilari would be lying if he said he was not nervous as he flew out to Windfall that next morning. Although carrying a particularly light load this time, his pouch felt as heavy as always. The reality of it was that he was lying either way—lying to himself, and would soon be lying to the poor girl as well. Although self-assured and determined the night before, it was only as he set out that his guilt worsened. Ilari could not even look at the island's landmark windmill as he neared the coastal settlement. He had repeatedly on end told himself over and over that what he is doing is the right thing. It had to be; it was for Maggie's own well-being. But even with that thought in mind, he could not help but feel a pang of reluctance. No matter which way he looked at it, he was not looking forward to this morning's delivery.

As he saw the port's docks come into view, he looked up from the water, and certainly, there she was again. In front of the post box as always.

Ilari felt his stomach turn. He knew that no matter which way he were to approach this, there would be no easy outcome. Clenching his teeth together, he dove down to the port, wilfully landing in front of Maggie.

'Ohh, Ilariii~!' Came Maggie's usual greeting, chipper and high-pitched as expected. It was enough to make Ilari wince. 'I am SO glad to see you this morning!'

Ilari frowned. 'You don't have another letter, do you?' He dared hope not.

The woman smiled and briskly shook her head. 'Not today. As much as I would love to write as many letters as I could to Moe, I must remain patient—as hard as that is! Rather, I was hoping to ask you if you delivered my last note? It is a very important letter, you know.'

Ilari could only imagine. 'Yes, I have…' His voice trailed off as his thoughts wandered back to his heavy pouch. Ilari knew he had to present the letter that "Moe" wrote to her, but he could not move. His hands suddenly felt tied and paralyzed. Again he doubted whether to proceed.

'Oh! Well that is all I wanted to ask. I'm sure Moe is very busy doing whatever he does at the fortress. I sure hope he finds time to write back soon! Thank you very much, Ilari. Tata—'

'W-Wait!' Ilari snapped abruptly. Interrupted, the young girl paused with a surprised expression on her face.

Ilari froze as well. His hands quickly covered his mouth. Awkwardly looking around, he then shoved his hand into his pouch and pulled out the letter. 'I… I have another letter for you!'

His eyes fell to the ground as he showed her the stained letter. Quietly he waited with growing dread, fearing whatever reaction that would follow.

There was a moment's pause.

'EEEEEEE! Oh, another letter from Moe!'

Ilari felt the letter snatched right out of his hands. He choked as he jolted. Why do they always do this? The woman wasted no time in opening the envelope. This was the absolute best surprise she could get! She was honestly not expecting a response so soon, not that she could complain. She promptly scanned the page, squinting her eyes as she carefully inspected the words. Ilari could only nervously watch in utter silence. Oh, please think it's from Moe, please, he thought to himself repeatedly.

After a few seconds the woman suddenly laughed out loud, making Ilari jump. 'Oh, Moe! You and your messy handwriting! Why, it's almost any wonder how I manage to read your notes at all! But oh, how simply adorable it is! Let's see then...'

There was only little relief to be had in that. She took it. But that was now the least of Ilari's worries. The woman had begun eagerly reading the note. She hungrily studied each word she came across, appearing to go over some several times to fully grasp them. However… Silence quickly followed. Ilari stood with back straight the entire time and stared at the lighthouse, finding it awfully interesting. He tried to make himself look uninvolved and unsuspecting, but in truth the pressure was getting deep into his nerves. His eyebrows furrowed and his fingers fumbled impatiently.

Then, a minute later, he heard her meekly speak, 'Oh, Ilari…'

At those words, his eyes flew back to the woman. But what he saw only made him immediately regret his actions. His gut plummeted hard, his teeth clamped his lower lip. No longer did he see her usual precious smile, but a quivering pout in its place. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. In the past month, the postman had to endure and brace through many things. He had risked his life numerous times at a fortress, had to pay witness to a disturbing blind love, and writhe in his own guilt and frustration. He had faced some of the worse trials any postman could go through, and had put his job on the line to resolve them. But this, though expected, nothing could have possibly prepared him to see the poor girl's face break. Desperately he wanted to look away, but he could not. He was as still as stone.

'I-Ilari…?' Her voice cracked. Ilari wanted to drop dead.

'Maggie…?' He timidly asked, feigning his ignorance.

The girl's eyes began to water. 'Ilari… M-Moe has… has…'

'…Left MEEEEEHEHEHEHEEEEEEE!'

In an instant the girl had tackled Ilari and buried her sobbing face into his chest. Ilari gasped with a jolt and threw his arms up into the air. Daring not to move, Ilari watched her cry into him. He was utterly speechless and powerless to do a thing. In the middle of the port next to the familiar post box, Maggie's loud, muffled crying could be heard all around them. Awkwardly he peered over and spotted the passing townsfolk all staring at them both. The man in the winter suit, the sailors, the school-aged gang, the guy who was obsessively compelled to dance day and night (he was still dancing as he watched). A bout of horror then struck him when he heard the door to the balcony above open. Ilari's gaze rocketed to Maggie's father glaring right at them. He winced and briskly shook his head at the overbearing man. He hated to think what her father was thinking right now. Oh, how Ilari begged to get out of here!

'M-Maggie. Listen… Please listen!' He urged her, his voice coming harder than he intended. Fighting back her tears, she released her embrace and tearfully glanced up to him.

The Rito breathed a sigh of relief when she let go. He took a small step back before continuing softly. 'Please, don't cry, Maggie. No one wants to see you cry. Dry your tears please, it'll be okay.' As much as he wanted to leave, he could not just leave her in this state either.

But the woman shook her head. 'Oh, Ilari! You don't understand! My one true love in life has left me… for another woman! A Moblin woman at that, even! I didn't even know Moblin women existed! Why would he do such a thing?!'

Ilari wished he could tell her how horrible of a beast Moe was. He wished he could just tell her that he was a blood-thirsty demon. He wanted to tell her many things, but had held back his tongue. 'Uh, well… I honestly don't know! But sadly, that happens sometimes. Some …people… just move on.'

The girl sobbed again. 'Oh! What Moe and I had, I thought it was special! Every time he wrote me back, he always said he wanted to see me again! He treated me so nicely when I was held captive there! He's the one who gave me all those necklaces, you know. He was just so lonely. He always said he wanted me over for dinner!' If only she knew…

She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. All of a sudden, she held a strong and determined look. 'That settles it, then! Ilari, please wait right here while I go write Moe another letter! I simply must ask him what is happening!'

'N-NO!' Squawked Ilari. The poor girl jumped at the force of his voice. She looked at him with horrified expression, about to break into tears again.

He quickly realized what he said. "Ah! I mean—Maggie, I believe it would be best that you move on now. I'm really sorry. But sometimes the person we believe we were meant to be with isn't always the one we think. I'm sure Moe has already moved on.'

His words did not seem to help as she began to cry again. He briefly shook his head and knelt down to her level, hushing her. He gave her a tired smile. 'You're a very pretty woman, Maggie, and don't you forget that. Someday you'll meet the man who will love you just for being you. So please, dry those tears.' Yes, please dry them already. He just wanted out of here, especially with how her father was looking down at them.

The girl quieted down. Ilari hoped this was a sign that she was beginning to understand. She gave a quick sniffle, producing a rather undignified, sticky sound in her nostrils. 'Moe always said I was pretty… He said I was "delightfully plump," and just "adorable enough to eat right up!" Now he's gone…'

Ilari shuddered at those words. 'You'll meet someone else who will think the same…' Hopefully not actually wanting to eat her, of course.

Maggie silently wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. Feeling a little more assured, Ilari stood up again. 'There are plenty of fish in the sea, Maggie.'

'But there are no fish in the sea.' She whined, referring to how their oceans were nearly always void of sea life.

That brought Ilari a humored smile to his face. 'That's just a saying. It means you'll have many more opportunities at finding love. You'll find someone. And between you and me…'

He knelt in and quickly whispered, 'Please don't fall for anymore monsters…'

Maggie sadly nodded, now finally understanding what Ilari meant. She was still upset of course, and would still be for awhile yet. Ilari could only hope that she was now over Moe. He never wanted to go through another ordeal like this. But more importantly, he just wanted her to be safe. He would just have to wait and see what happens over the course of the next few days.

'I must return to my deliveries. You take care, Maggie?' He asked her.

The woman did not say a thing, but instead had stared down at the ground beneath her. Ilari frowned too, but could do no more to help her. He turned around and left to carry on his work. Reaching his hand into his pouch, he took out a couple letters which he quickly shifted through as he read their addresses. One was addressed to Lenzo the photographer, another to the bomb shop… There were several more. He was so engrossed that he almost did not hear the tiny, croaked whisper behind him:

'Ilari… Thank you…'

The Rito postman stopped on his heels and glanced over his shoulder. Giving her a small smile, he nodded, and quietly returned to his work.

Guilt still weighed heavily on Ilari as he left, but now he could feel relieved knowing that he had helped a young, misguided woman move on and in the process kept her safe. He may have gone against the revered Postman's Code to do it, and the shame of it would always remain with him, but he was satisfied knowing that it was all for the greater good. People had to understand that, right? This was a matter involving a dangerous animal. And it worked, for no longer did Maggie write anymore letters to the fortress ever again—a highly welcomed change. Windfall never received any more letters from the Forsaken Fortress either. But Ilari had sworn, if Moe were to ever set sail to Windfall himself, he would have to deal with him first. Thankfully, that never happened.

Too bad though that the other Rito postmen did find out, after how Maggie's overbearing father cited "concerns" after witnessing his daughter cry in front of Ilari. The Rito Chieftain however was willing to listen to Ilari's reason for reading a Moblin's letter and falsifying it. He seemed to understand where Ilari was coming from, and agreed it was best to keep Maggie safe. He was willing to forgive him…

That is why Ilari was instead demoted to managing stock reserves, far away from deliveries. He would just have to slowly climb his way back up again.


End file.
